I always enjoy hearing from you. I don't always agree with you, and -- to your frustration -- rarely even act on the things that I DO agree with, but I always enjoy hearing your perspective.
These are my thoughts/answers to you:
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I have read THOUSANDS of affair stories now. Not a few, not hundreds, but thousands. You would not believe the gross similarities between them. The stories are in the thousands, the themes could all fit on a couple of pages they are so common.
I have zero doubts that that is true.
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Expect your wife to want you to cosign or outright buy her a sporty car soon.
Good call, albeit a bit late. I got her a BMW 530i two years ago -- the love of her life, after our children, our cat and somewhere ahead of me.
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I hope you know what a MILF is, because that's what the younger guys are already calling her down at the gym.
Yes, I do know what that means, and yes, she has been called that, as she LOVES to point out to me. She's very fond of letting me -- usually in front of our daughters -- know about other men who find her attractive. Like I've said frequently on here, "She DOES want to be thought to be sex-Y, and she even wants ME to find her sex-Y. She just doesn't want to have any ACTUAL SEX with me."
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So let me ask one question. Are you wanting the divorce (that is at present, inevitable) to be all her fault? She has the affair with the young guy, (insert typical older woman younger guy scenario here), then proceeds to financially rape you in the settlement. Is that the way you want it to come down so that your sense of guilt is aleviated? At least she has a job now, that will help a miniscule amount in the settlement.
I'm not sure I follow you. If she fools around on ME with a younger guy (I know, ladies, it's a double-standard, but it DOES sound more tawdry than when a guy does the same thing), how would that make ME look worse in a judge's eyes? In any event, I do admit that I sometimes conduct myself (avoiding an affair myself, not caring as much as I should about dipping into our savings) as if a divorce is in our future.
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I hope you don't mind sharing your wife, and at this point in the train wreck of your relationship, I think that you are making a serious mistake having unprotected sex with your wife if you two are having sex at all.
NOP, I haven't had sex with my wife in over 3 years, so that's not a problem.
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I will tell you one last time what you need to do, then I am butting out of your life.
I can understand your frustration with me, but I did not come on here this morning to ask "My marriage and my sex life is horrible; what can I do???" Specifically because I DON'T want to come across like CeMar, who asks for relationship advice and then doesn't follow it. I hate it when people do that to ME. I came on here to find out how I should have responded -- literally, WHAT WORDS I SHOULD HAVE SAID -- to my wife last nite.
Still, with that all being said, I do appreciate your unique perspective, and I am proceeding with EVERYTHING with the understanding that I'm taking a risk that my wife could have an affair. But that's HER choice, not mine. She has known for a long time what my needs are, and has chosen to ignore them. She's gone so far as to tell me why she does this (push me away), that she wishes she WASN'T like this, and that she promises not to BE like this, ever again.
Then she does it.
I just need to figure out a way to leave her Choice to her, but to still feel OK about my own integrity in the process.
