Would you lose sleep if your best baseball buddy said he would call to let you know he got home safe from some trip or outing, then didn’t call? Would you be pissed over that? What if it where your mom, or dad? Would you still feel the same?
"No" on the baseball buddy, "Yes" on my mom or dad. On my worst day, I still care deeply about my wife's well-being, so yes, I was concerned about her.
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I honestly have zero romantic attraction to her anymore.
Your emotional response does not square with this statement. If you truly do not care, then I don’t understand your reaction. People do not get pissed or lose sleep over these types of respect issues. No if it is some type of battle over pride, ego, or something like that at the office, I can understand, but even then the emotional reaction is different.
I think you are detaching from your emotions. You need to ask yourself if this is true, and if so, why are you doing that. It sounds very passive aggressive and victim-like to say you don’t care for your W, then get upset if she doesn’t show concern for you.
Are you sure you wouldn’t LIKE to care for her, if she would only first show some concern for you?
Yes, that would be my first preference -- to feel more of a romantic attachment to my wife, but as you say, the resentment has built up so much that I would only feel that way again if she would first show some concern for my feelings, and the damage her rejection has done to this relationship.
Finally, I'm not seeing where my statement doesn't square. I have no romantic attachment to my dog, but I still get pissed off when he runs off and I get worried that I don't know where he is. I don't have a romantic attachment to my assistant at work, but I respect her, and care deeply about her and he family's well-being. I do understand what you're asking, and while I was laying there in bed last nite waiting for her to call/come home, I did have several "gut-check" moments where I asked myself "Why am I feeling this way? WHAT is it that I'm feeling??"
And all I could come up with, was "pissed" and "worried." Not "jealous" or "lonely."
