Choc I did not care one whit about how she feels about any of these other, younger guys. I'm not saying that's right or wrong, or even healthy, but it's just how I feel.
I read you do care but something is blocking you to do anything about it. Conflict avoiding? Fear of rejection? It’s been bad for so long, why bother now? Something else?
Choc, I see she might have been holding out on you and now you are holding out on her.
I also relate to what NOP said, wanting her to be the bad guy or you not being the bad guy (it's her fault mentality.
With my R, I lose interest because of the lack of progress or when progress only happens due to conflicts. Sometimes I see myself heading down a road similar to yours.
I also think when you don't want a sexual R with your W, in some ways it is depriving her of some form of validation and other things she needs. Maybe she appears not to want a physical R with you or anyone, but I wonder if that mode of operation is causing her long-term problems?
Women that like to be chased but not caught. Is that your W on the outside, but different internally?
BB likes me chasing her but has problems when I catch her.. Once in a while she openly likes being caught. When I don't chase BB, she isn't happy. Are Mrs. choc and BB similar? I don't know.
I can't help but think Mrs. Choc likes to be chased and maybe some day someone is going to catch her. Then what are you going to do?
If someone had a magic wand where there were no problems afterwards, what would you like?
1. No wife? 2. A composite W consisting of traits something similar to Karen, GEL, someone else HD? 3. Keep things as they are? 4. A W with a lover, but not you? 5. An asexual R? 6. Your ideas?
While I see NOP’s ideas a bit drastic for now, due to my lack of knowledge in this area,, he has some insights that can quickly become reality.
One of his ideas I do relate to and that is not wanting to be the bad guy.
Just my thoughts Choc. I only wish you well and Mrs. Choc well. I can imagine you are both hurting.
