Thanks, I think that is what the counsellor is saying. In order for the healing to begin, if it will happen, I need to define my boundaries.
He suggests that if I stay I am in danger of going into depression. I didn't really grasp what he had said until this morning, when I stepped on the scale. I know that if I continue to not eat, my weight is going to become dangerously low in another 4 days. I didn't think I was depressed that much, but I am fooling myself.
I am continuing to read threads by others on this forum, to help gain stength, and shared experince.
I am a person who is to quick to cave in, too tempted to fall into bad situation again, I very much take your advice to heart, but I'll need to find a stong frame of mind in order to accomplish this.
Should she go to therapy, I am skeptical that she will be honestly preparing to take the steps necessary in repairing the marriage. She has to be willing to work as hard as me, and give up the behaviour that brought us here. (she has not through 2 counselling sessions so far) I don't want to cave, the first time she pulls at the heart strings, or my "rescuer" personality trait.
No I won't D right away. Unlike her, I do not seek the intimate comfort of persons of the opposite sex. Should it come to that point, then I will. I think my personal healing can begin when I get space and time to collect my thoughts. The D is a formal ending or beginning depending on what frame of mind I am in at that time. I perceive the D in my control, at this time, since W had the PA.
