You need to dump the roommate thing and start romancing your wife. You need to become good friends, have special times together, do fun things, go out hiking together, talk about your thoughts, bond. Maybe start with building a good friendship then send her sexy text messages on the phone, bring flowers, try to say and do things that make her feel special. The problem with being married for awhile is people start getting lazy, they stop dating their spouses. You need to treat her like your girlfriend, or a date, not like your roommate.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
