Oh I LOVE you guys!! \:D

It was wonderful to check my thread this morning and see so much discussion.

ILHubby and Karen, yes, I think it's all about that validation thing. \:\) He probably thinks we have "made love" for years. He wants to "occasionally" crank it up a notch and when I have seemed to be full of no's, he started getting a hang up about it. ("Why won't she do these things with me? Aren't I her husband? Aren't these things that she did years ago with one-night-stands?!")

Funny thing is, Karen, he SHAVED just the other day. lol \:o He is completely hairless down there now. And as I suspected, yes, for about 5 minutes, it is nice and smooth, but there is a certain amount of stubble and I felt it as we were ML. Oh well. We bought some KY Sensual Mist when we were at the store the other night. I gave him the night off last night and took the kids out for most of the evening. I had planned on experimenting with it, but fell asleep right after putting the kids to bed. I apologized this morning and I could tell he was disappointed, but he was nice about it.

I would like to blow his mind a bit tonight.
Nop, we have some "toys" some small, some large. I might give your idea a try. ;\) ONE TIME, I did what he had so often been doing to me and inserted a finger. I think I recall he was ok with it, but no fireworks or anything.

He did say the other evening, as we were talking candidly, right after our MC session, "Does it actually HURT you?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, I don't want to do anything that hurts you." We have not mentioned the sex issue EXPLICITLY with the C. He said in a session that he appreciated me going out of my way to show him that he is important and I believe we have casually mentioned that yes, we have resumed sex. The last session I was supposed to talk about the death of my Mom when I was 23. She was an alcoholic and had lived a very troubled life. I talked about how it had kind of changed me and I grew up a lot/got serious when she died. I kind of lost my interest in music for a while, got very serious about Joey and I getting married, finished my education degree, had a good chip on my shoulder for a year or so. I mentioned in that session that she had an "important papers box" and when going through her stuff I found, as Joey puts it, things I never should have seen. Apparently she received some money in a settlement of some sort because of some military guy who she lived with that abused her in some sense and physically damaged her anus. I also found pictures of her in demeaning sex scenes. Why she kept these I have no idea. She always lived with scuzzy guys and was extremely co-dependent. So take that for what it's worth. I have never DIRECTLY sensed that my mom's experiences affected me sexually, but my mind does wander during sex, and sometimes extremely negative things pop into my head and I try to just ignore it and move on. Additionally, I never felt that we HAD problems with sex. I REALLY feel like H has viewed this entire last year as being much more negative than it really has been because of his own mindset, but whatever. I have taken action and tried to turn things around and have been fairly successful so far. My girlfriends think I'm being a doormat, but I don't really see it that way. Not completely at least.

Thank you VERY VERY much for the advice. Since you know my story somewhat, I would love some advice on my thread over in Newcomers. I leave more of the sex stuff over here, because I feel a little funny being explicit in my thread over there. ;\)

Can someone tell me how to put that little link down at the bottom? Also, how come more people don't have personal pictures as their avatars? All I see are graphics.

\:\)

**zuzu**
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