still a confused mess

[HalfMissing]

I forgot to mention another thing my friend said. She said through counseling she came to understand that her H just had no love to give to anyone. They are so depressed and have such a low self esteem that they cannot love themselves, you, or the kids. The OW gives them a seratonin boost that is like a drug for their depression. I think it was so reassuring to hear these same things from someone who experienced this and did not hear this from someone on this board. You know, it is independent verification and validation or IV&V as we engineers say.