I had a really good convo with a neighbor of mine. She used to watch my D10 in the morning before school a few years ago. When I met her, her H had just left her and her 5 children and she was a wreck. I called her today to get some L recommendations. She was so nice and we talked for over an hour. Her H is exactly like mine and she had so much good advice. Her H was a quiet loner with no friends who also resented her successes, friends, etc. He started out depressed and then had an OW and then left. It was classic MLC. They went to counseling and at one point her C said that her H was just a lost soul. She also reiterated that there was nothing that you can do. It is all them. She also suggested I should consider going dark.
She decided to stand for 18 months before she finally gave up. A year later after the D was final and she had gotten an annulment he wanted to come back, but she had moved on and was in another relationship. She said that what made her decide to move on was when a friend asked if she was in love with her H or with the idea of her family. That is when she decided to get the D and move on. She is so happy now. She is dating a nice man and said she is actually happier in some ways now than when she was with her H.
So this makes me feel that if the worst happens, there is a chance I could be happy again in the future.
Me45 H45 D13 S10 together-23 years married-21 years MLC Divorced 10/3/07 Married to a wonderful new man.
