Sashaying thru Seperation II

[mcojh]

I need to vent a bit. I am really confused right now. W seems to be so interested in being around me at times, and yet so recently she was so sure she was out the door. I am quite sure that her relationship with the FOM is status quo. I assumed that when she moved out, she would be gone with the FOM all the time, and yet she isn't (she is around me). Tonight, she brought up changing our kid schedule after school is out for more stability. It would result in more stability but is that really her motive? But then again, do I care? I don't want to, but sometimes I cannot help it. My biggest downfall is the recurring issue I have over their contact, which is mostly at work and phone conversation. Based on the e-mail from the past, he is this sappy ILU etc etc type, that my W never has been.

I know that the FOM is supposedly her soul mate (gag), but she told me this 2 months ago. What is the status now??? I know this would be wrong, but I almost feel like it is time to make her choose. (This would be wrong right???) Tonight I feel like resolution, whether good or bad, would be easier than this fight. I would at least have closure.

I think when she is around me more, I get crazier and more worried. I had a beer while she was here and it helped some to calm me, until she took a sip...when I looked at her, she said, "I only want a sip."

Hard to Smile and Wave......but I am trying.