I'm 11 years old. My dad moves to take a new job. I go with him. Mom stays behind to sell the house.
My reaction? Thank you, Jesus! Glory hallelujia! Life without my mom will be almost unbearably sweet!
It doesn't quite work out that way. I don't have the slightest clue how to make myself get anything done without mom there to put the fear of God into me every day. My grades drop. My dad gets frustrated, threatens to send me to live with my mom a few times (about the worst threat he can come up with, and it gets temporary results better than anything else), and we eventually wind up talking to the school counselor, who gets it into her head that I'm doing poorly because I'm sad because I miss my mommy!
If only she knew! What makes me sad and afraid is that (a) my mom will eventually sell the house and move back in with us and (b) my dad might be convinced that I need my mom to keep me from failing and send me back to live with her. What makes me unbearably frustrated and profoundly disappointed in myself is the knowledge that the counselor has a point, even if she erroneously thinks I miss her... the bottom line is I can either be miserable with my mom living with me, or I can be a complete failure because I can't do anything without her there to keep me in line.
After a year of this, I barely avoid repeating the year, the house is sold, a new house is purchased, mom moves back in with us, and life returns to normal. My grades go up. They were right. I can't be happy and relaxed and away from people screaming at me or else I will fail. Once I'm on my own, I've got to somehow threaten or punish myself to stay out on my own and keep my family afloat and keep from going back to my parents' house with my tail between my legs.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
