He has not arugued with us, has been awfully nice, gives me money, and is having breakdowns where he cries or is ready to cry when he leaves to go back to that loveshack. He did this in February and again on Sunday night.
And he eats with us now on weekends. He told the girls on Saturday as they begged him for Panda Express--he said he did not want that and said to them, "I want to eat at home." He meant our house.
The girls were funny when they came and told me this. They were like, "Mom, Dad said something kind of strange..." ANd then they told me.
I am just letting God deal with him right now. Deep in my heart, I know he will be back.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Have faith, by my calculation you had 16 years together before the kids came along. Time enough to create a unique bond on unconditional love together. My wife and I also, then after 15 years of marriage - bang!
Be assured that underneath, your wife does still love you, but at the moment, the depression is suppressing those feelings.
As all the posters here have advised, you are in for a lnog hall, my stats 1 year post bomb, 2.5 years of replay, and in 2 weeks time the house is sold and she goes on her merry way, with my son, leaving her daughter with me.
When the your emotions have not so raw, you will eventualy see that this is not normal behaviour.
No one leaves their offspring, just because they do not have that "in love" feeling, if there isn't something more wrong with them.
No one leaves the security and familiarity of what they have known for over 50% of their lives for the unknown, if there isn't something more wrong with them.
About the kids, I let my wife tell them, however mine were a bit older than yours. Course she waffled it up! A lovely well rehearsed speach. But at least I made her take responsibility for inflicting the subsequent pain. I later had a quiet word with each of my kids, and made sure that they understood that it was not what I wanted.
In a way I am pleased for you, that she/you have left telling them to the last minute, not that it will decrease the pain any, but my wife wanted to tell the kids asap, that was 2 years ago, and they have had to live through the same nightmare, as she has not left, but has done everything to make life unbearable.
As my kids say, and I am sure yours would if they were older, "dont worry dad, everything will be OK in the end" that was 2 years ago, now they say "ah! let it go, just chill" - I think it means about the same!
2yrs before bomb...1 yr of replay and we are in 2nd year of replay with no end in sight....sigh....so we are in year 4
WOW PWS,
We are so very close in our time span that it is not funny. I know that it sounds like a long time but really to me it doesn't feel like that much time has gone by.
I have to post on my own thread about something strange that I found out today when I visited my mil to take her a Mother's Day card and present.
Ck it out later please and let me know what you think.
