What do you mean exactly? Looking as in snooping because you know he's having an A?

Right now, my problem seems to be that I put so much effort into working our M out and never felt he really did any "work," just "allowed" us to be ok again (he was the one wanting the D).

I also feel like I don't even know who he is anymore. Not just because he cheated and I don't understand how/why he could/would do that, but sometimes I just feel no connection to him at all. I still love him so much, but when I think about him and when I looked at him (past tense since he's deployed), I just think "do I really know this person?" And he's my H!!!!

He seems fine in emails & on the phone since he left. He says ILY and I miss you; calls me Baby, etc., but I just feel "differently" about him now.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10