First off, I'm not sure if you are thinking that the 19-year-old son in my signature is the one who raped his sister or not, but that is not the case. The rapist is now 27 years old. The two times he visited us, he was 14 and 17. D was 4 and 7. I don't know if it happened during both visits or just one. I am pretty sure it happened during the first visit. D was sitting in her dad's lap and started wiggling around in a sort of sexual way. H set her down and said something to her about not liking that. It was the only instance we noticed, so we didn't think much of it until all these years later.
There isn't much we can do about my son. I didn't raise him; my aunt did. He had grown up and moved out of my aunt's home by the time we knew about all this. I contacted police in his state. I thought they should do something to make sure it wasn't still happening. They couldn't do anything because it happened too long ago. He was married to a woman with two young boys. He also had a kid or two by a previous gf. My mom talked to her sister (the one who raised my son). I am unclear as to how much my aunt knew. But I do know that she knew about s molesting my ex's son. I am also unclear as to when that happened and what, if anything, she did about it. I also found out that s had been raped repeatedly by a neighbor boy. S was 5 years old at the time. He said it happened for several years. My aunt knew about it. According to my mom, my aunt said, "Boys will be boys." She did a pretty lousy job of raising him.
Something that really bugs me about this happening is that it happened to my ex's kid. He knew about it, my aunt knew about it, but they didn't tell me. I don't know when it happened; but they could have warned me. As soon as I found out my s had raped d, I looked up my x's phone number. I hadn’t talked to him since we divorced. I felt it was my obligation to warn him. As I was telling him about what I had learned about d and s, he interrupted to tell me he did it to his s, too, and had caught him in the act. I was very nervous talking to him in the first place. Add in being stunned about this happening and me not being told. I was so dumfounded, I just said, "Okay, I just wanted to warn you to watch for signs in your kids, just in case." He said he was sorry my d was going through all this and we hung up. There are so many questions I wished I had asked him. When did this happen to his s? Why the f...didn't he tell me?!!! Why didn't my aunt tell me?!!
As for D, we got her into therapy right away. That was a few years ago. We just discontinued the therapy last month. She is doing much better. There is no sign of depression anymore, other than a quick temper. She left the friend that was a negative influence and is getting much better grades. Now if she would only make some new friends. She left her friends that she knew from preschool. Maybe she’ll get back with some of them next year. All she has is her bf right now and he is graduating this year.
At the time that we found out about this, H and I were seeing a marriage and family therapist anyway. We dealt with our M problems as well as how to help D. Luckily, s19 was unaffected. He is a very well adjust young man. He was sympathetic to what his sis was going through and helped us watch for further signs of trouble.
Why didn't my aunt tell me?!! 
