You are in the right place. We know how you feel. Come here and vent, read, and join in. This place is a godsend.
I am glad you are going to a C. I waited for about 4 months after the bomb and was going downhill fast. My C gave me great coping skills and helped me through this. She will just try to find out where you are on the first few sessions. I know as soon as walked in to my C the waterfalls started and didn't stop. I started looking forward to going every week!
I lost 40 pounds and haven't put any of it back on. I was so sick to my stomache all the time that all I could eat was a popsicle. At least that kept me hydrated!
You might not think so right now but it does get easier as time goes on. Your h sounds alot like mine did. He would be very open about the ow, like it was ok. I finally told him that I didn't want to her about her anymore and he stopped.
Just give it time. Let God do his work on your h. Take care
