HELP! not sure what to do now.

[kissak]

Thanks RCR, You know, I know that I am married and actually, I did turn down the person who asked me out. I didn't want to hurt someone else. One question, if your H doesn't ever see u with someone else, even if it is to allievate his guilt, how will he ever know he might still have feelings for you? ughhhhh, how long can this go on? He does still have feelings for me, he just doesn't know it. WHY??? How, when, where, will he ever find those hidden feelings??? I have read all of the MLC resources, he is definitely having one. This is really putting my 10D through alot of unnecessary stress. He may only call or see them once a week, which is unfair to them. He loves them but just doesn't take the time out of his busy schedule to show it. In the beginning when we first separated, we agreed that he would have kids everyother weekend and every Tuesday from 5 to 8. Well when he came back wanting to work on things, I guess all of that went away. We don't live together and he does what he wants when he wants, but getting kids everyother weekend and on Tuesdays seems to have slipped his mind. Even our tax money that we agreed to split, is still setting in our joint checking acc. untouched. It's like he wants me to keep it, He hasn't said a word about it. Im sure it is to sooth his guilt over having second thoughts again. It's not like he doesnt' need it. All I hear about is how little of his check is left after child support every month. How he can't live off of what he gets. So I know that he could really use his part of the tax returns. But do u think Im going to ask if he wants it, NO, I will let it set there for him to see everytime he checks his own personal acct. If he wants it, he needs to ask. You know, today is the first day in 3 months he hasn't called me or tried to have a conversation with me. Not sure what is going through his head right now, but I will not contact him. Our son has game on thurs, so i expect to see him there, Im sure he might even call to make sure of time for game, but Im not sure how to act when he shows up. Sit with him, or what? I would love to just find some guy to just talk to that he doesn't know. See what kind of reaction I get from him. I noticed a bit of jealousy once before when i just smiled at someone, and he was like " who u smilin at?" What ever....It just really bothers me that he wont take time for his kids. Its not like i need a break, i love my kids and really don't care for them to stay with him, but i know that they need him and want to spend time with him. I think I will make a point of telling him what I expect from him as far as the kids are concerned. Paying Child Support doesn't mean u love them. Seeing them and hugging them and wanting to spend time with them shows them love. But I really dont' think he knows how to love anyone anymore, not even himself. H is supposed to have session with MC this week, I wont know if he does unless he tells me, should I ask him about if he is still going to set up session with him, or wait and see?