HELP! not sure what to do now.

[kissak]

Thanks ST. I don't want to hurt anyone, I just feel so lonely. I know that I can live life without a man, honestly I felt like i have since i first got married. The first year I dated my H, he was in boot camp for Navy, then the first year we were married, NAVY, I only recently found out from MC that my husband was told that he couldn't reinlist in Navy because of cut backs, he never told me. I thought he got out because he wanted to. I asked why he never told me, he said, just didn't, that's all. Why couldn't he tell me? I will never know. But he couldn't even be open to me then. He has always worked shift jobs at night and slept during the days, Or been involved with fire/rescue, so I am use to being by myself most of the time. Just me and kids, I always had to push to do anything together as a family, If things were done like vacations, outings, anything, it was my doings. His idea of vacation is vegging out in front of tv. We never did anything together, he had his friends, which he says I never let him hang out with! LIE! I have my friends. I just think courteousy comes in to play, if your going to be over at friends house, at least let me know. I was not trying to control him. Anyway, I know that i can manage without him, I just don't want to. Oh well, I just need to quit thinking about it so much!! Thats all. I feel much more stable emotionally now than I did when he left. I probably wont go out with anyone for a while, We have both said we didn't want to do anything stupid that would hurt us later on. Although he did that 2 weeks after he left by starting a relationship with his close female friend! I just wish she would go away!!