I don't think it's being a push-over to want to stay with your kids and keep your family together. I think it takes enormous strength and selflessness. And a spouse who gets involved in an affair usually ends up coming out of it looking and feeling like a selfish fool.
If you want to raise your own children don't hit that ultimatum button. I always believe it's better to allow the spouse to do that. Let them be the one responsible for dissolving the family. I personally prefer having no regrets. It's a good feeling.
As far as Andy's sitch as "deteriorating" I don't see it there yet... He's detaching wonderfully and his wife seems to be testing.... .But, one thing I've learned is that sometimes a relationship does have to hit rock bottom before it can be rebuilt again. (Not that you want to force it there!!! Sometimes that momentum doesn't stop).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
