trying to hold out

[Concerned_Listener]

H,
Detachment isn't what got you into this predicament. Detachment involves healthy boundaries while maintaining a positive connection. Detachment isn't the same as distant. My guess is that what got most of us into this predicament was a failure to have a connection with healthy boundaries.

Detachment isn't a weapon, but part of unconditional love. Detachment involves accepting that you don't have control over the actions of your W. You accept that you can't control or save your W. You choose to love her in spite of her imperfections and poor judgment. You continue to love her thru separations and D (if it comes to that).

I understand what you're trying to do in terms of 180's. You're trying not to pursue her, and create some mystery.

I'm glad to hear that WW and others here has been great support for you.

CL