Regarding him being in Phase 3--if you have read the 6 Stages of MLC and mean Replay, then Yes...almost all newbies have Replayers. That is because Replay is where we learn that things are not right--it's where they get an Ow and drop the bomb.
He is heading in fast too...a direct dive down. It seems scary, but I think that is better. Let him dive full plunge into a relationship with the OW. It sounds like she may already have him on the electronic leash (cell phone) and he's becoming a kept man. And if they are cohabitating...even better. That is the best way to end a relationship--live together.
He will get angry at everything. He will also try to incite you to anger...causing you to escalate to arguments. Unless you like worms, don't bite the bait. The OW can do that...let her be the Bitch.
MLCers stall or take little action regarding divorce or house sales. And many (not all) spend--and spend and spend. So watch those finances. Sweetheart remained cheap and let the Ow pay for things--that was awesome.
Replay can take two years. And it can take less...just accept the complete timeline while hoping for less. Maybe he will burnout faster...maybe not. But he's going prett fast it seems. Now understand, fast is still measured in years.
Your job is to step back and let him fall. He MUST fall and you cannot pick him up. He has to go through this onhis own. If you step in, you will hold him back, possibly prolonging this crisis.
You can contest divorces actions and such--I recommend contesting. But that is legal...step back emotionally.
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Do I continue to wait or do I move on without him?
No one should wait and not move on. Standing is not Standing Still. You get a life, you move on by having a full life that doesn't require your MLCer for your happiness. And you keep the door open.
But what do you want? It sounds like you don't want your marriage to end...therefire you want to be married to your true husband--the man the Monster ate.
If that is the case, why consider divorce.
okay, for your kids and such. But many Stand while taking care of their children....when it comes to safety and fincnes you must decide. But even with legal divorce paperwork...yu can Stand and remarry him.
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How do I understand what to do?
By reading...and reading...and reading...and talking to everyone here. Read the resources at the top of the forum. Look up the MLC books in that Bibliography.
You wil survive. We cannot guarantee your marriage will survivie...I can only tell you that it is possible.
