I know quite often in our R when I had a real hard time expressing what I needed to, I would write it down and give it to my H (something similar to the suggestion of just having her read your thread)

I felt I was just unable to express myself totally and would forget to say things I needed to because I would get too emotional. When I wrote it down, I could digest it and take my time and make it sound "perfect" (in my eyes of course). So, perhaps if you have a real hard time facing her verbally, you could write her a letter. It might just be what you both need to get things started.

The other suggestion of a marriage encounter is a good one too. They focus primarily on communication and that's where you seem to have the problems

Heywyre

M - 57
H - 65
1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02
2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06
together 21 years
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Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)