What is the backdrop to these conversations? Is this via phone or face to face? Sorry, but are you guys living in the same house or are these arguments happening during kid exchange or whatever?
I'll post more later - I just needed to understand what is causing these "discussions". Who is initiating?
Sven
Sorry Sven, we cross posted. The backdrop would be both, phone and face2face. We are in the same house.
I think what kicks this stuff up is she gets to a point where she starts to think about how much she can't do it or something. I really believe that is what is happening, based on looking back over the last few weeks. My problem is not making myself scarce when I see it coming. A lot of times it will be when we are lying in bed, or end up in a room alone or something. I have made the mistake of asking what's up when I noticed her starting to act a little down or like something is wrong. I need to just leave it alone. I truly believe it's her internal dialogue working and me asking or giving her an opportunity to say it out loud causes her to only say the negative side of the internal conversation. I don't believe she wants to say the positives that are floating through, if any, due to not wanting to give me any hope and sticking to her guns about how done she is.
In the past, I initiated. The recent throwdowns have been initiated by her. Usually starting with a, "I see that you have made changes, I tell my friends that I can see how much you've changed but it's too late, I'm not changing". Just take that sentence and run it through 5 or 6 permutations and that is how she normally initiates.
