Hi everyone..I am new to this site but I was hoping to get some advice.
I had an affair and then moved in with OP. My spouse moved away and has filed for divorce. I know now what an idiot I am and how stupid my decisions were but I am afraid it is too late. My spouse will not even answer my calls, refuses to see me and won't even answer an email. I have even tried showing up at the new home.
I really don't want a divorce. It says in the divorce papers that I can request marriage counseling but I know my spouse does not want it. They say they do not want to go through any more pain but I feel like I need it for me....for closure
Thanks for responding, I have been married since July 2003. No children, nothing, that is probably why it is so easy for him to let me go....i just don't know what to do.
Honestly, i think I just woke up one morning and realized that I had made the biggest mistake of my life and that I had done something horrible.
I have tried to talk to him, he refuses to answer my calls, I go to his new home to visit and he won't open the door, just about 2 weeks ago he has said he is done reading and or answering my emails as well.
He is being so mean, but I know it was my fault, so I guess I deserve it. I just don't know what to do.
Yeah, that is my question as well. Are you and the OM still together, did the relationship with him end at the same time you came to the realization you missed your husband?
First, yes, you have to understand your exs feelings, and validate them. You probably hurt him more than you ever can know. He is hurt, angry, etc..
I started becoming distant from other man and ended the realtionship. i knew I missed my husband, but I thought that was just normal. After some soul searching i realized that I really did miss my husband and feel there is a lot of unfishinished feeling and love for at least me toward him, unfortunately I can't eveen talk to him to tell him how I feel and honestly, I don't know if he wants to hear it.
as far as I know, he does nto have another woman...i could not imagine him cheating, btu then again I would never think that I could/would do it either.
Unfortunately, when there's not a lot of binds (like long-term marriage, children, etc...) it's much easier to dissolve it and move on. Unless there is more connecting you it will be difficult to bring it back together. You can try starting up a friendship... and perhaps that can lead to more. But I have to warn you it takes a long time for people to work through affairs. Even in a long-term marriage with children it's REALLY HARD to piece it back together. You have to realize that even if you get back together he'd blame you and be angry about this for a long time (years!!!!). It's a rough road.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
