How do I know if it is MLC

[bright 2 morro]

Ok, I will list the course of events that have happened and maybe someone will better be able to help me.

1 Since maybe October/November he has slowly backed off of helping me with things (without complaining). Slowly stopped wanting to do things with me or anyone. Slowly stopped calling friends and parents. (I only just noticed this step).

2. Over the past months he complained that he had no friends and withdrew to his gaming online (yes, it was gaming) but it got to the point that it over took his life. I did not think much of the first two steps until it got real bad and I asked him for more time and attention. We still did things together but not like before. Slowly lost interest in shows we watched (now does not even watch them).

3. One day we got into an (minor) argument and then all of a sudden he said that something in him had snapped and he was unhappy in our marriage and that he has felt this way for a very long time. (This is two days after he told me he was always going to be here for me and loved me and would support me through somehting).

4. He agreed to counciling. After the first session, I decided to take the kids to visit my parents. He stayed home and I guess decided to go to a bar (never been drunk in his life). He hung out with a W from "work" at this bar and called me the next day and said he was so drunk he slept in his car.

5. All the that is when it started down hill. He told me he loved me and cared about me but he was (and has been) looking for happiness and wanted to go see if the grass was greener.

6. Since then he has been seeing someone else and hiding it from me even though I told him I already knew. He moved out and said he was getting an apartment but has yet to do so (3 weeks later). He is not even paying for Hotels (which I know he stays in most times). He told me a friend was paying for them (now I am not that stupid). He also let on that he has a new cell phone. I asked him if he bought one and he said, no I just got one.

7. Since this R gets more and more involved he pulls farther and farther away from me in the kids. He resorted to not answering calls and not calling for days. He will not tell me where he is. He stopped going to counciling.

8. He gets angry at me still for everything. He is blaming me for the kids knowing what is going on (even though, they are not dumb, they can see that he is gone). He does not even take responsiblity for that.

9. He is not making any move to sell our house (can not afford both apartment and house). Or legal separation (he talks about it but does not do anything, same with apartment). Does not want to talk about anything that has to do with responsiblity.


What is the deal with him letting the ow pay for everything? Is this part of it? In my opinion we are on the 3rd phase of this already. Well, that is if this actually is a MLC. He does not talk to any old friends. He refuses to talk to his dad and only talks to his mom when he has to and nothing about what is going on. If I am correct, approximately how long does this stage usually go on and how long should I expect to be "left out" of his life.

Goodness, I miss him so much and want him back. He was not only my husband but my best friend.

Please help.

Thank you
mimi