Have you considered taking your wife to a Marriage Encounter Weekend? I know there are some people on this Board who have gone that route and experienced some good success with it. GGB may be lurking and could provide you with some additional information about it.
If all else fails, I would ask her to read your thread. I don't think there is anything but truth in it, things she needs to hear, and I think you've sounded loving and respectful towards her. Plus, it's hard to argue with uneditable text.
Just a thought. Perhaps better as a backup plan, not sure. I'll try to chime in later tonight.
The MEW is out of the question as she is violently opposed to any type of therapy. Not even going down that road right now. Not writing it off yet, just not going there.
THis thread would create a MAJOR problem as she would see it as putting our problems on display. To strangers. About sex. NOT GOOD.
Still thinking about it here. Just keep the ideas comming.
You could take all the posts made here and edit them together... and then give it to her as a letter. Might be a good way to broach a heart-to-heart conversation between the two of you.
End the letter saying you'd like to discuss it in person with her, and maybe take her out to dinner... perhaps discuss over drinks. But I'd do it away from the house so you both don't get distracted.
I know quite often in our R when I had a real hard time expressing what I needed to, I would write it down and give it to my H (something similar to the suggestion of just having her read your thread)
I felt I was just unable to express myself totally and would forget to say things I needed to because I would get too emotional. When I wrote it down, I could digest it and take my time and make it sound "perfect" (in my eyes of course). So, perhaps if you have a real hard time facing her verbally, you could write her a letter. It might just be what you both need to get things started.
The other suggestion of a marriage encounter is a good one too. They focus primarily on communication and that's where you seem to have the problems
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I think that the idea of the letter is a good one. Simple, allows editing before delivery, etc. I def feel like it is a better way to try to open this dialogue than trying to talk about it right off the bat. I will give it some more thought and maybe draft something and post it here for editorial comment.
