Maybe you are right. I don’t really want this to end like this. I was thinking last nigh, that if this is what she needs right now, space, for her to be happy from now on, then I will give it to her. Even when we talked the other weekend, she didn’t say anything or act anyway that would make me feel that separating was the right choice, in fact it was the opposite. I guess I’m always the kind of person who expects the worse case scenario, I need to kick that feeling bad. I just need to look in myself and honestly evaluate how long I can give her. I do believe that she will come around, considering she told me she does want this work but just needs more time and wants it to be right when we do, I guess I just have to practice patience. But I do not want to be waiting on her, then have her say, ‘Oh I don’t think its right.’ I guess patience is the name of the game, and patience has always been my worst sport.
Do you think I should find a C, then just call her and say something like, ‘I know you mentioned this before and if you are still willing I have found such & such, just let me know what day works for you.’ Is there anything else I should be doing? I feel like I should show her I do care about her, even though I feel really burned by her right now. Is it possible she did this to test how committed I am to her? Such as, ‘We had an amazing time, and he said that he wants this to work, but I want to test him to see if he honestly means it.’? What do you think? Its hard for me to ignore my gut when I say, ‘I’m just going to let it be’ when my gut is telling me no, you have to fight for it. I’m so torn right now. Sorry if I came off as rude or anything the last couple posts, I was just having a really hard couple days.
