OH, Man!, Sometimes it's spooky how you people "read my mail". First, it is interesting how posts have referred to my fears. Honestly, I have been "afraid" all my life. Somtimes I think I come off as a wimpy, simpy, "yes dear" kind of guy. To some extent that may be an accurate discription. However you would never know it if you met me on the street. My fears also do not stem from any parental abuse. More like parental ignorance. I come from a VERY loving and supportive family. A family that truly modeled what loving marriage looks like through generations. I think that, on some level, this is where some of my fear originates. It makes me think that it is a problem with me and that she does not love ME. The talk WILL need to take place at some point soon I think. As I have stated before, the distance is intolerable. I have also stated before that, as of late, I have refused to feel emotionally bullied. For better or worse, I think it may have forced the issue this past weekend and we seemed to,for once, HEAR each other. She, with the rigors of juggleing kids, issues with kids, and work/home, feels emotionally overwhelmed and due to my recent distance, unwilling to communicate with me. For my part, I have been unwilling to communicate because I feel that I am pushed away, unwanted and not looked at as valued in any other way except as a paycheck and as a dildo with a heartbeat. On balance, I think that she and I have the tools to communicate with each other. On my end, I have just been unwilling to try any more because I have always, ALWAYS run into so much resistance. I think that now,since I really do not have anything to loose, and that I am unwilling to feel pushed around, is the time to "chat" about what is going on. As you all have said, it really is pretty much time to "man-up" and see where her head is.
See, Idealy I would like to get to a place with her where we are able to really share with each other.Really get to a place to enjoy each other. Make each other the priority and maybe, hopefully, have some monkey lovin more often than once every blue moon. If she reacts negitivly, or deflects her responsibility then I will need to look at the viability of the relationship.
So, Dear, wise people of the sex starved marriage, care to dialogue with me and help me craft some sort of game plan regarding this chat?
