I have been reading a few threads here and decided to have a talk with my wife tonight.
It was a helpful thing for me to do. I can see now a little more clearly that his is her issue, not mine. She is also going to counseling (a new counselor) so I hope it helps her find her way.
In the midst of us recovering and rebuilding our marriage after our fist counseling session ended (dec 2005), she was still emailing "I love you" emails to the first OM. She was also initiating a relationship with the second OM (the one she had an affair with) I have seen both emails and they were days apart from one another. Bizzare.
I promised her tonight that even though I hurt badly, I would try my best to suppress any angry emotions or potential outburst to her. I think in reading a lot of other people's advice here, I also decide to open the door wide for her.
I encouraged her to go out and seek what her heart desires, and not to feel that I am holding her back any longer.
Honestly, today, I feel that it's a nice way to push her out the door. MLC or not, she is a toxic person in my life. I feel more than ever she has a twisted perception on things. I don't want to wait around for her to go through counseling, figure things out, then wait for her to commit back to our marriage 100%, then wait for her to earn my trust back. I've already struggled over this heartache for 2+ years.
I think step by step, for my own sanity and the family's emotional health, I should move towards ending this relationship.
Does anyone else have experiences like this? Am I thinking right?
IS 49 W 47 S 21 D 19 S 16 M 24y Together 31y EA Mar04-May 06 PA Feb06-Jun06 EA May07 Bomb Dec 28 07
Footfalls echo in the memory, down the passage which we did not take, towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden. T. S. Eliot
