MC, Glad you took my question to heart. It sounds like in your sitch that the hug/kiss is a good DB technique (180). In my case, W has had intimacy issues for years (maybe always?), so I had to completely stop all of this as part of LRT and it has been one of the keys to some of the baby steps we have taken.
Concerning gifts, this gets really complicated when kids are involved. Again, ask the same question, will it bring you closer to your goals? My W has issues with my spendthrift ways, so when she requested to go out for a very expensive dinner with friends for her 40th, I said, if that's what you want for your bday, then let's do it. It turned out to be a great PMA booster for me and also was the first time that W has said (lovingly) "Thank you SD" in front of her friends in a LOONNGG time. Think about your history and the techniques you are experimenting with, will it be seen as negative (maybe using money for control?). Or will it be seen as a positive (really thinking about her). Of course the latter could be pursuing as well! Just have to make the call for your sitch, which is different than all of ours!
Good luck, SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
