Much as I hate to admit it, I "can't". Both from an emotional standpoint as well as a literal stand point. Some where around 3 years ago or so, I developed a lovely case of ED. It is purly psychological my Dr. assures me. Up to now, I had refused to be "Robbed" of this aspect of my masculinity and self medicated w/ Viagra in the hopes that I would regain some confidence. It was working up to the point that the stretches of time in between encouters grew more and more in their duration. This ended up haveing a PROFOUNDLY negitive effect on my ability. Pretty much shot all my confidence all to hell and then some. Remember, we were , at best, a once a month couple. Then it grew to like 3-4 months this last time around with her breaking the fast by telling me that she was feeling "insecure" and that she worried about me straying. That was damn near five months ago. We have "been together" a grand total of 3 times over the last 9 months, two of those were back to back and the third was the above mentioned "maintainance". At this point I am at a total loss as to how best to bring the issue up. If I bring it up now, or in the near future, it is a guaranteed way to torpedo any detante,albeit celebete, we have going on currently. If I wait to broach this subject until she comes to me for some "quality" time, The same thing is, again, guaranteed conflict, with the added bonus of further monastic living arrangements. This is all in addition to my physical inability to perform unaided. Lovely situation I have on my hands. I really have no clue as to how best to proceed. I want her to know what is going on with me. Esp because she does not know about the chemical enhancement. But the issue is really turning into a major "loose/loose" for me. Her too. It would be so much easier if I felt like I could actually talk to her about this. But I honestly can't. Not without a major blow out. I know at some point I am going to need to have this talk, Just need some insight as to what to do the next time she comes looking for love I guess.
