interesting that your h says he is an abuse victim. He is over relating to his victims. I recall when I defended child abusers (not my choice, fyi) I started seeing "abuse" any time a parent disciplined their kid. So maybe that's what he's doing. You need to somehow distinguish his sitch from true abuse, especially since YOU know what real abuse is. Please....if your "jerk/jackass/dumbass" comments were it, even screamed at repeatedly, you are soooo in the ball park of normal. Has he ever had a real R with another woman, and if so, did they never fight? I realize most dating couples do not get anywhere near as crazy as married couples, but still he has to get a clue about typical fighting...and yes, my h has said some of the same things yours has, and I've said stuff to him I'm not proud of either. WTH, we are all human and doing the best we can.
Maybe you can say, "I'm sorry you think of that as abuse and I regret saying those things. Despite the names you've called me, given my background I don't see it as abuse. But as I've said before, I'm doing my best and that is all I can do...ie. forgive your shortcomings, note my defects, work on them and move forward..." or some part of that...
You know, HE is NOT the only one doing the forgiveness work, or trying to lose resentment. Sometime you may need to remind him of that. Guess he's got amnesia. Sheesh! j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
