are you saying you literally can't or you don't want to b/c you may end up hurt? I can say from my recent experiences that you will then be hurting her by saying no if she does try to initiate and it may well turn into a vicious cycle.

Unfortunately, from my POV and this being somewhat similiar to my sitch, if she truly is or has been "clueless," if she still doesn't know the extent of your feelings and hurt, are things really going to change for good? Like you said, it's not, in the long run, going to fix things if this is just a band-aid and she really doesn't know how very deeply your hurt runs and how very serious this is.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10