When we think about making a change, it can be scary. What is familiar is easier to deal with (as horrible as it may be) than the unknown.
What is your "WHY" or what is your "reason to" make the change?
When many Jews were in Nazi camps, in hellish conditions, "WHY" should they want to survive, to endure daily physical pain, horrible living conditions and emotional torture (each having lost many friends and or family members)?
For some it was a VOW to make sure nothing like that ever happended again. For some it was LOVE of family, to see loved ones again who were or might be safe. Each survivor has their own story as to what gave them the will to survive.
If your Son/Daughter (?) came to you bleeding from a wound that would kill them if you didn't get it treated would you let them bleed? Right now your family members need you to treat your wounds and then to treat theirs.
It may seem impossible, scary or not worth it but when you get to the other side, one day at a time, one step at a time, you will know you did the right thing.
Backing off from suicide was a BRAVE thing, not a "ball-less thing." You chose to face difficulties rather than end it and cause all kinds of misery for your children and their current or future children!.
Now take one step, then another, and then worry about the next step.
Bless you.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
