W moving out & says that it's permanent - Part 2

[fearless]

12_51,

I am so sorry because I have a pretty good idea how you feel right now.

My advice for you as far as the e-mail is that no response is needed. There were no questions that needed answered so let it go. My friend had a similar end to her marriage and a similar issue with her XH talking about how much he misses their dogs. He seems totally clueless to the fact of how much that hurts my friend to hear. He even still calls my friend by the pet name he used in the marriage. Her XH and I have been very good friends also and I STILL wonder when he is going to wake up.

As far as the friendship issue, I basically agree with Nops and others. I wouldn't refuse her friendship or act angry but seriously I think most people understand that friendship is painful in these circumstances.

My advice for the time being would be the same whether you want her back or not. Just leave her alone. You do not have to "move on" right now or buckle down to win her back. Do not get stuck thinking you have to do one or the other right now - you don't. Just take some time for yourself and keep focused on the improvements you want to make for yourself.

Oh and vent all your emotions - positive or negative here or with friends and not to your wife. It will be good for her to see you as a rock throughout all of this and also for her not to be able to read your emotions. Since her e-mail was open ended with no specific point, you should just leave it alone. If she asks you direct questions in an e-mail, the respond to the questions only. No casual chit chat - even about the animals IMO.

Good Luck. This is not fun but as someone who went through this and has watched others go through it; you will be okay!!