I just wanted to stop by with an update on my progress.
My W and I have been back together for over 6 weeks. She has confided to me what got to her was when it appeared I was moving on. When I starting coming over just to take care of my son and that was pretty much it and also when I was appearing to get a life, I was watching movies with my sister (yeah, nothing major just doing something fun without her). This according to my wife opened her eyes that it might really be over and she was going to have to fend for herself. She decided she had to get over her anger or face a life she didn’t want. So I guess there really is something to the Get A Life mantra.
One of the other things I learned is that it really was pointless trying to address relationship issues until she was willing to put the anger behind her. We had been to see a counselor several times together during the separation and it was awful. My wife just use the time to dump on me and listened to nothing the psychologist was saying. Once we got back together and she was over the anger we went to a different therapist and the experience was completely different. My wife has felt that the visits have gone very well with useful information coming from the therapist, even though most of it is the same things that the psychologist was saying. It was just now she was willing to listen and try.
I have been trying to address some of the valid issues my wife had with me and she has made some attempt to do the same. We have also been fortunate that some of the external issues that were impacting us have eased. I’ll try to check back in when I have some more insight that may be helpful.
