Update: I am really struggling this past weekend, and need some honest advice. Last weekend was so fun, one of the best in a very long time. Even during the week was great. She called me, told me that she loved me, and wrote me cute text messages every morning ect... Then something has changed, and I’m not sure what to do or what it was. We had made plans for yesterday during the day, so when I hadn’t heard from her since Wed night (she called and told me she loved me), I shot her a text asking if we were still on for today (Sat). She said that she had to work in the morning then was going to that party. I wasn’t too upset, just kind of sad since it was our anniversary, but didn’t let her know it. So I wrote her back, no biggie, lets go to that poetry slam on Sunday. I was also going to give her those books too. That is where we had a blast, and she said she wanted to make it a regular thing with me, and said she wouldn’t have wanted to do it with anyone else. She hasn’t text me back or even called, I feel really hurt and burned by her. I feel like I’m just convenient for her. I was the one to initiate the contact and she said she was happy I did, but now I just feel blown off. When we separated, I had taken everything down, including some paintings she did for me, and after last weekend I started to put a few back up. I just want to jump off this f’n rollercoaster. How can we go to making some serious headway to nothing again? I was afraid of this, and it makes me question just letting her go for good. I feel that everyday that goes by with nothing happening, its day I could be trying to forget about her and find someone else that can make me happy. For those who have reunited, was it better the second time around? If it was, then I will consider keeping on track, but I’m just really sad and hurt. When we first met, I knew she was the one and still don’t question it today, but I feel that it might just be easier starting over with someone else and moving out of this city for good. When she did talk about R, she would say that she just needs more time and wants to make sure its right. Which I acknowledged, but now since things have seemed to change again, I began to wonder this, ‘If she’s not ready now, she might never be ready.’ I mean realistically, how long can I wait??? Part of me just feels like giving up, but then I see the steps we made in one week and I feel encouraged. I’m not sure if it was due to it being our anniversary or not, I just need some guidance. I haven’t cried myself to sleep for a couple months and that’s all that I have been doing these past couple nights. I just feel useless and like quitting. What I really want to do, is in the middle of the night tonight go and put those stupid books on her doorstep! I guess I’m also sad because today was pretty much the only day we could have seen each other for about the rest of the month. She is going out of town next weekend, the following I have some friends in town, then the last I’m on vacation. What should I do?? I hate that she has this power over me, and that when I walk down the street every women I see is her, but I’m nowhere to be. Please help I really need it.
