You need to focus on yourself. Use this opportunity to work on losing that weight (not for your husband, but for YOU, for your kids, for your health!!!). You'll feel so much better about yourself. Work on making some friends, meet other moms when you take the kids to the park or other places, go to church and join some social groups (look for a church that has lots of social groups), join a walking group or gym and meet others there.
Do you have any family members who can help with babysitting so you can get out once in awhile? Maybe arrange for your husband to take the kids once in awhile so you can go out to events, movies, etc...
Avoid any divorce talk with your husband. If he brings it up just try to steer the conversation elsewhere and don't agree with anything financial or otherwise. Just say, I'll have to think about that. In the meantime, do a little divorce research so you are prepared if things go that direction. It doesn't hurt to ask others for names of good attorneys and keep that information hidden somewhere so your husband doesn't know about it. Find the best attorney possible and keep it in case necessary. Hopefully, it won't be necessary, but it never hurts to be prepared for anything.
More than likely this affair will burn out. I have a feeling trophy girl is just enjoying the attention of an older man and is building your husband up to be some kind of knight in shining armor. The whole thing is a fantasy for both of them and more than likely the relationship won't last. Avoid OW. Don't talk to her. Just focus on YOU.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
