Cntcope, It's really fantastic that you have been thinking over your situation and you have realized that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. You do sound pretty depressed so you should get professional help immediately. Call your nearest mental health center today and leave a message or call tomorrow. You need to learn ways to deal with your difficult husband and if he doesn't become kinder to you, you need to leave. You know that I'm the divorce buster, but when you get to the point of considering taking your life, it's a sign that you need to do something drastically different. If you love your children as you say you do, you have to take action. Children suffer throughout the rest of their lives when an adult takes his or her life. You love your children too much to think about their suffering in this way. I bet that's why you decided to slow down and think things through. You're a great mom. You should feel good about yourself because of that. Depression is a powerful condition. It forces you to look at the bleak side of life and believe that it will always be that way. But that's rubbish. Nothing stays the same. The only thing we know about life is that change is inevitable. Your life will change for the better, but you MUST get some help now. Thankfully, the fantastic people on this board buoyed you up last night. But you need to also get professional help. Don't wait. Even though you feel better right now, you still need to reach out to a therapist in your community.
