You need to talk with someone, like qoe100 suggests, call a suicide hotline. If you're in the United States, you can call 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255.
You can't make anything better for yourself or for the kids you love so deeply if you "end it all." Please, if not for yourself, then for your kids, call and speak with someone from one of the hotlines right away.
I'm praying for you.
Joe
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
