I’m going through basically the same thing except it’s my wife that is having the affair.
What I have learned here is it is on about 10% the other person, 90 % the husband or wife’s decision. So you can’t really blame the other person. I can’t give ya much advice yet because I too am going through this and I just started trying things out. I will keep updating my post (trying to hold out). With what I have done, what worked and what didn’t.

Don’t feel bad about not having many friends. My only and best friend is my 10 year old son.

Husband


Me-49
W-53
m-18 yrs
S-10
D 23 Previous marriage
D25 Previous marriage

And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know