Do you think he would be willing to go for counselling at all? From the sounds of things, I am thinking no.

The first thing you have to do is take care of YOU and your son. What decides to do with his life is not your responsibility.

Have you discussed the problems in your relationship/marriage? Have you grown apart because of illnesses or any other factors besides him losing his job quite often? There are so many variables and, like you said, this has been going on for at least 11 years. It doesn't happen overnight and it will take a long time to fix it but at least you have come to the right place for emotional support.

The people on this board are VERY helpful and as much as I can't give you much advice at this point, because I am still in a VERY difficult position myself, I can offer you a virtual hug (((cntcope))) and hope this is the start of a better place for you and your relationship

Heywyre

M - 57
H - 65
1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02
2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06
together 21 years
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Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)