Cadesmom34, I didn't drop any bombs, because I don't believe in threatening or coercing people. But I have changed a lot over the years to where I don't need the validation of other people, so I was directly and relatively calm when the subject sort of came up recently. I think it soaked in over about a week. A lot of her problem is other hostility and insecurity, which has been channeled into something like hostility. ( I nearly was killed at work some years ago, and the temporary worry and 80% drop in income is something she has not gotten over).
And I don't hold any grudges, so when she halfway wanted to ML (probably forced herself), I forgot all about refusing.
