It was Tues. night,and he said I wonder how long I will hold onto this resentment, and I said it depends on if you like it, and he said no, I don't, and then I said that then it is up to him to let it go, that it is his to decide. That is the first time I had suggested that he likes it. So, I am hoping that with me saying something like that, he will really think about it. Because even though I have some resentment over his behavior, I have forgiven him, and am willing to let it go. He seems to be willing to show me he is being honest now, I think.
I did, when he broke down to me those two nights, tell him he was a good man, and that I DO love him. I don't know that he is really so much in denial,though he may be to a certain extent, as he is ashamed of himself, maybe, and the guilt makes him upset, and like you said he is projecting that at me. He has said a couple of times, usually after a church lesson on men and leadership roles in the church and home, that he should have taken the lead years ago, and that he let me get out of hand, and that is as far as he would go in admitting his role in it so far.
I love to negotiate deals, I seem to be good at it, and once when H and I agreed on a price to offer a car dealer, I lowered the figure by 1000 dollars, and they upped my offer by 500, so I got us a really great deal. Next time, I guess I will let him do it, and we might pay more.
I will say this, it is my faith in God that keeps me sane, and since nobody outside of this site, my S, and my counselor knows about our situation, the people here have been so important to me, and the advice has helped tremendously. Everyone who ever posted a reply to me, I want you to know that I will go and read your thread, so I can know about you, and your sitch.
