The biggest stumbling block in all this is the kids - if I stay, I think they will have a better childhood, but I will likely suffer, as I don't expect W to want to change anything. She has the best deal here - another guy, her life basically paid for, a nice house, etc. Still, I do think it is fairer to share the suffering that my wife insists on creating among us all rather than taking it all myself.
I do think it boils down to a choice my W needs to make - stay and try to make things better (I'll suggest Imago counseling, which she once refused, but am open to another way) or split up. Perhaps she could move out and I would live here with the kids (this in some way seems fair, as a lot of the conscious decisions leading to this were made by her), without her (she would probably want to use the garden etc). I think it is worth plotting out the various scenarios and my responses/attitude to them.
Trevlig helg to you also. Hope the house fixing up went well and that you had a nice May 1.
Much appreciate your suggestion about meeting in a neutral public place - must buy you a beer someday when we are both in the clear, whatever that ends up being -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
