Those are some good questions but remember to find a lawyer with experience. In Sweden it's pretty much 50-50 on splitting everything and then you'll end up paying for CS at a set rate. It's the lawyers experience that will be your guide so you may need to shop around alittle. Hear them out.
You also have to decide if you really want a divorce or not. If not, then you need to explain this to the lawyer so that a strategy can be developed. If yes then you need to let them handle it. That's what they are good at so don't play lawyer yourself. Remember, you talk marriage (which has been existant only in name for 3 years due to your wife's adultery and alienation of affection), the lawyer talks divorce.
Have a nice weekend and don't sweat it. You've been in the game a long time now so a little longer won't hurt and you have all the time in the world to make a decision. After you have the info you need you have to sit down with the wife in a neutral place, in public, and just talk. Just communicate. If you don't get through to her then you make your decision. The one that feels good in your gut and the one that provides the best home environment for your kids.
