Hey guys, I was wondering if this is what is referred to as the roller coaster, or something else.
Tuesday night, we were having dinner, and S finished, and left the table. I don't remember what was said, but I didn't bring it up. H said how long am I going to feel all this resentment? I didn't know what to say, so I just told him it depended on him, if he enjoyed it. He said no, and I said then that it was up to him to let go of it. Then S piped up from the other room, What? And H said your mother. I couldn't finish my dinner, and after sitting there for a few minutes to let him finish, I just got up and went into the other room for a while to compose myself. I wanted to scream at him, that I, too have resentment, and I didn't cheat on him.
Then last night, I was still feeling yucky and down, so I was nice to him and talked about his work, but I didn't talk a whole lot. When we went to bed, he wanted to play, so we did, and I was more subdued than usual. I was wondering if it's normal to feel almost like the emotional connection to them is breaking a little. I don't always feel this way.
Then this morning, he wanted to play again, so we did, and then I made him breakfast. He can be so nice to me for awhile, then I don't know what it is, he will start harping on the past again. It doesn't last as long, when he rants, because I try not to give him ammunition to use against me. I have told him I know what I did wrong in our M, but it's like he forgets and has to tell me again.
I feel better this morning than I did the last two days, and I will go and read my DR book. And clean the house.
