I know you're in a difficult position right now. I feel guilty just reading your posts because the last thing I want to do is make my husband feel like a fool. He struggles with finding a balance between not allowing me to walk all over him and backing off too much to the point it would make it too easy for me to walk away without thinking. My point is be careful with ultimatums unless you are 100% ready to back them up. It's hard for me to talk to my husband as well. Especially about the OM and my feelings right now. I need to be able to tell him anything and not worry that he will use it to hurt me later and lately I haven't been able to. He always throws things back up in my face. Another thing he has always done is tell me my feelings are wrong. I hate when he tells me how to feel. Nothing shuts me down faster than that. Could you be doing any of these things to your wife that could keep her from opening up? A few weeks ago I had my husband sit down and read my journal for the last 4 years. I think thats when it finally sank in and he began to acknowledge my pain,lonliness, and attempts to get his attention. Feel free to contact me any time. I think we could learn a lot from each others experience that could really benefit our marriages. I appreciate your insight into the "other" side.
