Fiji, Yes, I have thought about writing her and laying it all out there for her. A good suggestion. The only problem I see with it is that, over the years any dis-satisfaction on my part is viewed, by her, as "MY PROBLEM", or that I am equally at fault for the existance of the issue. FWIW, she is very skilled at negating, or minimalizing my feelings. It is as though I am a shmuck for feeling them. The reverse is also true with her. I.E. Her feelings are very important and I should be made aware of them. I should be more accomodating to them. I should be more atune to how she is feeling.
Fact is, I am acutely aware of how she is feeling. I submit that I am more aware of her feelings than she is, if that is possible. Meaning that I am aware that weather or not I do the dishes is not the real catalyist for her feelings, it is just an easy door to open to allow her to vent freestyle. It allows her to unload, without identifying what truly is at issue. It allows her to put a face and personality to her undefined (or unrefined) dissatisfaction (dont know if that makes sense or not).
Thank you for the complement on my writing. I speak the same way and it can be both a blessing, (at work) and a curse (at home). It is one thing I have always taken seriously in that, words have real power. I express myself as clearly and as precisely as I can. ( though I can not spell worth a damn). Sometimes, I am sure, this is a source of irritation for her. On some level I think she gets frustrated because I am able to put words to my FEELINGS rather than to my JUDGEMENTS. The fact that I am in tune with my true self to some degree, coupled with an ability to put voice to that, may be a bit much for her. (lightbulb going on now....amazing what putting this down can do for a guy who spends WAY TOO MUCH TIME in their own head)
I read "wild at heart" and got a lot out of it. I will look up this book as well and see what it has to say. THing is , as hen pecked as I sound, I am a pretty stron personality everywhere else in my life, except with her. However, the times they are a changin.
