thank you, thank you

I also tried to be as understanding as possible. I said several times that I knew it was putting him in a vulnerable position and that it would be out of his "comfort zone" but that I was in a very uncomfortable place right now too. I think that helped a lot to let him see this wasn't just for me, it was for "us"

I also tried to compromise (within reason) letting him know that I was willing (temporarily) to back off about the sex issue we are dealing with too. Mainly because he kept saying "so its all about me" and getting VERY defensive. I told him it wasn't about him it was about us and we needed to work together to get through this. I suggested we work on the trust issue mainly and try and rebuild what we lost and that I was sure, if we could do that, the initmacy and sex would slowly come back into our relationship naturally. It was like I had taken the "pressure" off him and he agreed, plus he said perhaps we could slowly start working on that too.

Heywyre

M - 57
H - 65
1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02
2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06
together 21 years
***************************
Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)