I remember you too. Although I don't post much these days, I do check out the board for some old timers.
If you have been working away on this problem of yours for years now and you don't feel any reciprocal effort or interest at all on H's part, I would certainly consider your other options. I came to this board looking to save my marriage, but I have got to the point where I feel better on my own and look forward to my divorce being final next Monday. A marriage takes two to work on it, and I learned that they are reasons one party might be content to have things the way he wants them even if it means disrespect and pain for the other party. There is some benefit to them. If there is not enough benefit to you, beyond financial security, face saving etc, (we are all vulnerable in these areas) then I would recommend re-evaluating your options...
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
