She needs to step up to the plate here too. She needs to realize it is HER unrealistic beliefs that are keeping HER stuck in fear.
She DOES need to step up to the plate. All she has done is chosen 'comfort and stability' over the living separate that you both had in the past.
She needs to get counseling. You are waiting for her to 'fix' a problem she isn't even TRYING to address.
It seems pretty clear to me that she has an emotional blockage that she is not willing to address. Time and patience will not address it either. She has to face whatever it is.
That's how life works. Trust me, I've been there. She (and you) will stay stuck with the status quo, and then you'll wake up one day wondering where the years went and regretting what you could have been.
Plant the seeds, talk to her, be her counselor if you have to but get her looking inward.
Sex=Intimacy. Talk to her about intimacy and her fear of it.
Here's something we did. we go this book 'Embracing Each Other: Relationship As Teacher, Healer & Guide by Hal Stone' and read it aloud together, taking turns on different pages. And we TALKED about it. It is very thought provoking
